Advice

There have been a number of books written detailing the best piece of advice a person ever received.

That advice ranged from always wearing clean underwear to never going on a date without cab fare home to visiting the ocean at least once a year.

I was lucky enough to have a very wise friend a long time ago.  He gave me a number of pieces of advice, ones that I find still find myself repeating, both to myself and others.

The best piece of advice he gave me was “We are, all of us, works in progress.”  It was a reminder that we were never done evolving, that even the best of us were not perfect, that we were truly a work in progress.

The next best was, “Nothing is wasted.”

Everything prepares us for the next thing.

Our lives are linear; we cannot get from one point to the next without passing through all the stages in between.

Nothing is wasted.  We learn from it, we gain insight and understanding, we develop scars to remind us of the lessons.

Every experience has value.

Nothing is wasted.

I think the best advice is advice that we use in our daily lives, advice that causes us to think, or shakes something loose in our minds, allowing us to see something familiar in a new way.

Sometimes the thing we see is ourselves.

Sometimes we are hesitant to give advice, even when we’re asked for it.

We have this sense that giving advice makes it seem that we believe ourselves to be experts, or that the person we’re giving the advice to is obliged to take it, which is untrue.

Sometimes advice is one of those things that you give as best you can, and then let go of, knowing that the person you’ve given it to might, or might not, follow it.

Sometimes what we would do is not what another person CAN do, for whatever reason.

On the other hand, being unwilling to give advice might do a larger disservice.

Maybe it will turn out to be the best advice someone else has heard, too.

About MsConstanceExplains

Ms Constance has been actively involved in the BDSM/Leather community since the mid-1990’s. She is the Founder of the Louisville Munch as well as its hostess for ten years, from 1997 to 2007, and was christened as “Louisville’s First Lady” by her community. As a member of various BDSM/Leather organizations, she has been nominated for Pantheon Woman of the Year as well as regional awards, and has been nominated with her slave, drew, for Pantheon Couple of the Year. She serves as Special Events Director for the Great Lakes Leather Alliance. She produces the Bluegrass Leather Pride Contest, sending contestants to Great Lakes Leather Weekend, and was Presenters Committee Chair for Leather Leadership Conference 2010 Great Lakes/Ontario. She has produced and judged Leather events and contests, been instrumental in the organization and creation of various groups and clubs, advised and encouraged other communities and endeavors, and produced a performance by a BDSM comedian. Groups around the country use her writings in information and introductory packets, and she is an occasional columnist as well. She and slave drew hold the titles of Great Lakes Master and slave 2003.

Posted on November 8, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. *clapping*

    yes. Exactly so…we are works in progress. I’ve gotten more confident in my 50’s. I’ve done a lot of things, know a lot of oddball things, have a ton of weird skills. Everything we go through…is a foundation for what may come later. I used to moan about having a “differently abled” child (why? why us?) Which became “how can we make this work”. Which became, “can we do this again”…and so on. (I now have 4 kids!) I worry sometimes about (my spouse, specifically) making things too easy for my kids…because in the struggle is growth.

    Great, thought provoking post today. (and I’m behind on reading here again. However, the painting is done in my work room and it’s almost all put back together again!)

    nilla

    • It’s funny that as little as we like it, the hardest experiences are usually the ones that teach us the most about ourselves and others.

      My dining room is NOT put back together again, though it will be in a few days, drew will bring back more of the guts of the cabinet and there will be shelves and drawers, if not doors to the piece yet, but that will be ok. It’s kind of nice to get all the dishes washed and sort of gathered – set of china, Christmas pieces, silver, etc. – and then figure out where all of it should go.

      Driving to and from Western Kentucky this weekend I kept hearing “Come, Ye Thankful People Come,” in my head. Harvest is done, winter is coming, and it’s time to draw in and cozy up, which is my plan for this winter.

      • 🙂 This is part of why I like you so much, Ms. Constance. I love that hymn, despite my pagan lifestyle…and that is exactly where I am just now, all gathered in and ready to hunker down for winter. The nest is warm and cozy and (blessedly) DONE…with the exception of a wee bit of cleaning that got neglected in the frenzy of remodeling…I am emotionally prepared for the long and dark winter ahead.

        nilla

  2. Nodding my head at this end of the universe.

    • It’s funny the advice you hear that sticks with you. An English teacher told me once that the older she got, the longer the days were and the shorter the weeks, and I think how true that is often.

      • I understand that one. My favorites are: Bite your mad spot, Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance and don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers for.

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