Kink First – My First Play Party

The first play party I remember going to was in Lexington, Kentucky, probably in the early summer of 1997.

I had found people in the area through a channel on the internet, which was still a fairly novel way to meet people way back then.

It was a small group of people, A and R, D and J, BJ and some other stray folks whom I don’t remember as well.

I remember going to an apartment in Lexington for a party.  We were all, I think, relatively new to at least playing in front of other people, and there wasn’t any real equipment.  We used what was there, footstools and chairs, etc.

I remember giving one person, BJ, his first spanking, but it wasn’t anything really special or intense, at least for me.  Maybe it was for him.

It’s funny, it all seems so long ago, and so much, I don’t know, more innocent or amateur, in the nicest sense of the word.

We were all so much younger and the kink community was so much younger.

Not the Leather community, that had been around a long time, but the sort of straight kink community was much younger.

There were groups, certainly.  The Eulenspiegel Society (TES) was founded back in 1971.  The Society of Janus was founded in 1974.  There are others, I know, but I’m not trying to create a history, either, so forgive me not citing more.

But there were not groups everywhere, like there are today.  They were just beginning, a lot of them, but they often stuttered in their beginnings, a few meetings here, then a long break and a new group with a new name coming along.

There were events, but they were not as common as they are, nor did they have as much experience.  I don’t think as many people went to them, either.  It seems like in the “old days,” I’d see a lot of the same people at every event.

One of my old friends, a guy who used to run the Leather Harvest business, said to me once at an event, “I remember when there were like 100 of us in the country who were into this and we all knew each other.”

That’s an exaggeration, obviously, but the point of it is kind of true.

It’s always been interesting to me how few people have been to events, or have been to events regularly.  Clearly, it’s been a priority for me, and that’s why I went to so many, too.

I’m glad I started going to events.  I’ve made lots of friends, hundreds of them.

I’ve seen great classes by presenters who were wonderful.  I’ve seen crappy classes by presenters who were badly prepared.

I’ve stood on stages and at my seat when the asked presenters or volunteers to stand.

I’ve seen some amazing scenes, some incredibly creative scenes, some brutal scenes and some tender scenes.

I’ve done a lot of traveling because of events, and I am really grateful for that opportunity.

It seems like that last part maybe belonged more in the event one, but here it is anyway, and here it will stay.

I do appreciate the comments on other people’s “firsts,” and thank you all for those.

About MsConstanceExplains

Ms Constance has been actively involved in the BDSM/Leather community since the mid-1990’s. She is the Founder of the Louisville Munch as well as its hostess for ten years, from 1997 to 2007, and was christened as “Louisville’s First Lady” by her community. As a member of various BDSM/Leather organizations, she has been nominated for Pantheon Woman of the Year as well as regional awards, and has been nominated with her slave, drew, for Pantheon Couple of the Year. She serves as Special Events Director for the Great Lakes Leather Alliance. She produces the Bluegrass Leather Pride Contest, sending contestants to Great Lakes Leather Weekend, and was Presenters Committee Chair for Leather Leadership Conference 2010 Great Lakes/Ontario. She has produced and judged Leather events and contests, been instrumental in the organization and creation of various groups and clubs, advised and encouraged other communities and endeavors, and produced a performance by a BDSM comedian. Groups around the country use her writings in information and introductory packets, and she is an occasional columnist as well. She and slave drew hold the titles of Great Lakes Master and slave 2003.

Posted on November 17, 2012, in Kink Community, Kink Events, Memories, Play Parties and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I’ve never been to a play party, well, kinda maybe? When I met You, the night of the munch…but I wasn’t there, there. We went in, then out, pretty quickly. My first munch…with You and aisha (and I was so grateful at being tucked under your wing there! It was a tad overwhelming!) I’m not certain I’m all that much of a public “outing” person, my Master is definitely NOT into public play, and getting away to a munch in my family circumstances would be difficult at best. So my experiences are limited, but carry MANY fond memories. 🙂


    • You know, I don’t think anyone’s experiences are either more or less valid or valuable because they are public or private or anything else. I think that your experiences are every bit as valid as mine.

      I have also exchanged a lot for the life I chose. I have long said that if I had been as interested in my career as I was in the community, I’d have a lot more in the bank.

  2. The first play party we went to was around New Years this year. It was quite an experience- a private cabin in the woods, by invitation only. Way, way out in the woods. We were kinda nervous, actually. I got flogged by someone who was not my Master for the first time ever. And showed everyone my underwear. Shocking, at the time. Heh. We had a really fine time though.

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