Nothing is Wasted

I spent some time today going through an old hard drive.

I found several things I’d been looking for, including, hallelujah, that story about the cat named Stiletto.

It needs a bit of reworking, the place it ended up was a bit different than the place it began and I want to work on it a bit, but I am much happier to have found it.

I found some other things, too, some bits and pieces of writing, some things that I was glad to find, some I’d forgotten, some I’d remembered but given up on.

One of the things I found was something I’d written about advice, and one part of it in particular struck me.

Someone a long time ago gave me a lot of good advice, but one of the ones I had mostly forgotten was, “Nothing is wasted.”

Everything prepares us for the next thing.

Our lives are linear; we cannot get from one point to the next without passing through all the stages in between.

Nothing is wasted.

We learn from it, we gain insight and understanding, we develop scars to remind us of the lessons.  Every experience has value.

Nothing is wasted.

It isn’t always pleasant.  It often isn’t, in fact.  Life isn’t always gentle in the ways in which it handles us.

Sometimes it feels like we stumble along, tripping over our own feet.  Or at least I do, and I doubt I’m alone.

But even when we stumble, it teaches us something, I think, if only to look where we are placing our own feet.

I also like the cosmic message there.  Nothing is wasted.

Time isn’t wasted, not really.  Sometimes what feels like time wasted is really a lesson in patience.  It is a lesson, sometimes, in learning what we can, and can’t, control, and how much, or little, that control matters.

Love isn’t wasted, even if it’s not returned.  We are, I think, transformed not by the love that we receive as much as the love we give.  Receiving is nice, and it gives us validation and a lot of other things, for sure, but it is the live we give that teaches us, the transforms us.

Pain isn’t wasted.  It forges us, it makes us better, or stronger, or it breaks us, and sometimes we have to be broken before we can be remade.  The pot that can’t stand the kiln may shatter, but the pieces can be used to form a mosaic, too, another pattern that is not what we imagined at first, but something valuable nonetheless.

Paralysis isn’t wasted.  I think the inability to move forward, or what feels like that, is often really the lesson in listening to oneself, that small, still voice that is so often drowned out, when the world is too much with us, late and soon.

As little as I like lack of productivity, I need to remind myself that that is also not wasted, that sometimes what we need to move forward is the time to rest and gather energy.

Nothing is wasted.

About MsConstanceExplains

Ms Constance has been actively involved in the BDSM/Leather community since the mid-1990’s. She is the Founder of the Louisville Munch as well as its hostess for ten years, from 1997 to 2007, and was christened as “Louisville’s First Lady” by her community. As a member of various BDSM/Leather organizations, she has been nominated for Pantheon Woman of the Year as well as regional awards, and has been nominated with her slave, drew, for Pantheon Couple of the Year. She serves as Special Events Director for the Great Lakes Leather Alliance. She produces the Bluegrass Leather Pride Contest, sending contestants to Great Lakes Leather Weekend, and was Presenters Committee Chair for Leather Leadership Conference 2010 Great Lakes/Ontario. She has produced and judged Leather events and contests, been instrumental in the organization and creation of various groups and clubs, advised and encouraged other communities and endeavors, and produced a performance by a BDSM comedian. Groups around the country use her writings in information and introductory packets, and she is an occasional columnist as well. She and slave drew hold the titles of Great Lakes Master and slave 2003.

Posted on January 7, 2013, in Relationships, Spirituality, Vanilla Life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Lovely – i had to connect to you today from my post. Thanks.


    • Thanks for the note, and I’m glad the post had some meaning to you. It honestly did sort of stop me, and I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten it. I suppose advice, like the teacher, appears when the student is ready.

  2. Thanks for the important reminder that nothing is wasted. We can’t always see the value in the process til we have progressed past the point we felt stuck in. And then, of course, it becomes clear.

    • It is hard to remind ourselves, we like results and measurements and ways to gauge our progress and sometimes it’s hard to remember that progress is also putting one foot in front of the other and just keeping on.

  1. Pingback: Fifty Shades, Vagina, and More… « aisha

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